back to the library

so it was a weird, long day. the dude i was going to rent a room from turned out to be a flake. i guess he has a thing for very thorough investigations into perspective tenants and because i live nebulously, he found getting answers about me is a pretty tricky thing (unless you're the government who are reading this now. hi, usurpers of personal freedom! : ). because investigating me was going to take weeks instead of days he decided to return money i had given him to hold the room. fucker. it seems to have worked out for the best though. i went to see a place that was perfect for me not a half an hour later. a nice basement efficiency that really is more of a small 1 bedroom. i was in line with 5 other dudes but the very nice landlady (who has an equally nice husband) called me a few hours ago and it sounds like she really wants me in there. can i get a 'woohoo!'? yeah i'm hopeful and excited about my basement pad. and it's not even a half a block to beer, karaoke and wild women! yay! so all this basement dwelling stuff reminded me of the girl i knew named jessica layton who lived (lives?) in toronto because she once told me her story of renting a basement in a hard time in her life, saying she never left it until she was fully, psychically heal. i don't really think about jess so much these days so i was surprised to remember this and feel the meloncholia of our brief, tempestuous time together. but this is my basement and my basement period and i couldn't be happier. healing can be a real bitch but i'm ready now to find out just what i am capable of. i'm going to change the world and i can't wait to see the results! in the meantime though i'm still homeless and will be so until (all likelihood) july 1st. that means it's back here to the library where i pass the time blathering into the abyss. blather, blather. i don't even remember enough about jess to be able to miss her. i just know we'll have a basement in common.

the villwock gut

much to my chagrin and later dismay, i have discovered that my villwock gut has come in. now this doesn't mean that i am getting fat, oh no; that would be too easy. i'm getting the villwock gut. how to describe it? it's like my middle has transformed into a barrel like my fathers, like his father and like all the male villwock's since the inception of our glory days in germany. it should be like a badge of family honor but i hate how thick i fell around my middle. what if i can't get rid of it? what if diet and exercise did nothing? ugh! i'd be stuck with it. you know, like how the red wings are stuck with henrick zetterberg. the difference between my gut and henrick zetterberg? i'm not soft down the middle. ugh! i guess he tried to do his best. and yes, i bitched about his play last year too. i mean if he were ryan getzlaf or zack parise, i'd be so happy. and besides, this is about my middle. lugging this barrel around doesn't seem to have changed anything. girls still check me out, many blush and smile appreciatively as i greet them in passing on the streets. so it seems i'm the only one really aware of my gut. isn't that weird? i wonder if president obama feels this way. sure he's thin but to be carrying around the weight of what he inherited from bush junior, he must feel bloated around the middle too. that shit is heavy! i just couldn't believe it when his speech to the muslims in cairo (and all the middle east) was debated here on american cable news. what a joke. it was like a carnival sideshow. do the bobble head news hosts now wield such power in this land? was the speech soft or dumb or terms of surrender. at least the president tried unlike ol' dubya. what did you fuckers do to change the world today? of course, had this been a bush effort, you news hosts would be sure to say how awe inspiring it was while calling people who didn't like the speech enemy sympathizers. some liberal media; looks, feels & smells like conservative media to me. like the other day when george dubya bush junior parachuted from a plane and cnn and fox went ga ga over it. is that really news? innocent american men and women are losing their lives every day fighting that man's wars. what i want to know is why he isn't in prison. that's the real news story. and the cnn reporter upset me by just gushing about meeting the george dubya. she was in awe of him and behaved like a girl with a crush. really? that's news? that's liberal? yeah and i'm sean hanitty.

bummed out thanks to the penguins

so another great year of hockey ends and for some the result was perfect while for others the result was bitter disappointment and genuine heartache as the former champion red wings lost their crown to the younger, more aggressive pittsburgh penguins. i suppose the loss wouldn't have seemed so bitter if the red wings had actually tried to win the game or played a 3 periods instead of 1 but they didn't and they lost. pittsburgh was a team on a mission and they can now proudly proclaim: mission accomplished! oh sure detroit should have won even as badly as they played throughout this entire series. let's face it, the penguins had their hands full with detroit even with detroit performing as sub par as they did. had detroit been on top of their game, last night would have surely ended in a different result. but that's what happens when a team like the wings get over confident. they played like they were gonna win just because they were at home in the joe. they played like the cup didn't really matter. no one went flying after loose pucks, many of the players just stood watching from the perimeter instead of going hard to the net. oh and zetterberg you soft fucker! when will the wings trade you for somebody better?!? someone who knocks opponents around, finishes their checks and hits and who plays like a superstar during game 7 of the stanley cup finals! it seemed that if the red wings roster was filled with more youngsters like helm and ericksson then the game last night would have been far more entertaining to watch. the youngsters were fighting to win the cup while the stars of the red wings just laid back and took the night off (except for osgood, cleary and datsyuk; they played their hearts out). of course once it was too late they went to the net and played red wing hockey and who knows? if there had been a 4th period maybe the wings would have trounced crosby and crew. oh well. congratulations to the stanley cup champion pittsburgh penguins and just you fuckers wait until next year!

unlimited time

i have come to realize that i have unlimited time. so i should never have to hurry yet still i find i do. i've only recently begun to comprehend the depth of my psychological damage from when i first had my psychic blowout back when i was a child of 4 or 5. i wish i could remember what caused it but i don't. i can't even envision what it could have been that scarred me so deeply and traumatically. whatever it was i should be able to remember it right? but i don't so what does that mean? anyway i write all this because what i have just described too you causes me great fear. i don't know why about that either. it's like your heart races all the time and your panicked all the time yet just outside my psychic reach, deep within my chi, a sense of wonder. small. fragile. vulnerable and yet so full of potential energy. i want to feel that energy coursing through me, filling me and then i want to give that energy away to everyone i meet just so i can spread the awe of it. i stifle it. i'm not safe out here among you savages. one false move and it's curtains for mikey! but why is it that way? why do we have to live in fear all the time? oh sure some of you don't. you are never afraid. you are tough and you are better than this. if you can pull up your own boot straps, by god so can everybody else. oh yeah? says who? not everyone can be you. some of us are wired different for whatever reason. and who cares what the reason? how is it i find homeless among you or people going hungry or men and women with psychological ailments forced into the streets because this nation has no pity? when a person is in need you don't ask questions, you help them to the best of your ability and willingly so. jesus tried to teach that to the people once. "give unstintingly without any thought of reward" it just seems strange to me no one wants to fix the problem and make it go away as would befit the "greatest nation in the world". history is full of countries who thought theirs was the greatest in the world too. russia, germany, britain, france. but their definition of 'great' differs from ours.

ga. cops kill again

http://www.wjbf.com/jbf/news/state_regional/georgia/article/wadley_police_shoot_kill_suspect/12386/ Fraendy Clervaud Published: April 4, 2009 One man is dead after he was shot and killed by police officers Friday night in the small town of Wadley, Georgia. It all started when officers responded to a domestic dispute between a father and his son. Authorities say moments later, things took a turn for the worse. It happened at the corner of East Smith and North Main Street. Police say when they arrived, Jerry Conner had a knife in his hand. His widow says her husband had been drinking and was having trouble dealing with some family issues: “In the past three year, he’s lost three immediate family members, his mother, father and brother”, she said. Police chief Wesley Lewis says Conner started to approach the officers with the knife in a threatening manner. One officer tried to subdue Conner with a Taser, but the device failed: “During that time they made multiple commands to drop the weapon and stop his actions, at which time Officer Paquette had to make a decision on using deadly force”. Conner was rushed to a hospital in Louisville, where he later died. His wife says the shooting was not necessary: “Why not the legs? Why not the hand? Why not his foot? Why his heart?“ She asks. Chief Lewis says, “Shooting somebody is the last thing an officer wants to do because when you take someone’s life, it doesn’t only affect the family of the victim; it affects the officer and the department.“ The officer involved in the shooting works for the Wadley police department on a part-time basis. He’s been placed on administrativeleave pending an investigation by the G.B.I.. so, like i said before, the cops are thugs, hired henchmen of the government and the rich that take great pleasure in bullying us common folk (not to mention tasering and killing us low lifes eh?). police aren't heroes, they are muscle for uncle sam's mafia, hired goons armed to the teeth with military weaponry and flak jackets. remember when they said that when guns were taken from the public then only criminals would have guns? well, they're right. only these criminals wear badges and have the blessing of the state to abuse and abase with little to no oversight whatsoever.

fresno cops kill man in custody

http://www.ksee24.com/news/local/42529077.html A man who was being pursued by Fresno police died shortly after being taken into custody on Monday morning. Police Chief Jerry Dyer says that officers were pursuing a man in a Ford Mustang for about two blocks after he ran a red light. The man finally stopped at a gas station at the intersection of Jensen and East. The man, described as about 5'8' and weighing 350 pounds, got into a confrontation with police. Officers used bean bag guns and a Taser to try and arrest the man, but he continued to resist and officers finally wrestled him to the ground. At some point, he stopped breathing and he was taken to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead. Stay with KSEE 24 News and KSEE24.com for updates. naturally the next day the same station reports he was a drug user and not in custody... http://www.ksee24.com/news/local/42562412.html Fresno police have identified the man who died while being taken into police custody early Monday morning. Ricardo Varela, 41, died after police made several non-lethal attempts to subdue him after he resisted arrest. Varela was being pursued by officers after running a red light in Southeast Fresno. Two blocks from that intersection he stopped at a gas station. Police used bean bag guns and a Taser when Varela confronted them, and eventually officers wrestled him to the ground. The 5'8", 350 pound man started having trouble breathing and was transported to the hospital before he died. Police Chief Jerry Dyer said he had a conversation with Varela's mother today, who told him Varela had a drug problem, which Dyer said may have contributed to Varela's actions this morning.

cops taser 15 year old boy for 'clenched fists'

http://www.kpho.com/news/19117975/detail.html

Police Stun Boy With Taser At Hospital

Police stunned a 15-year-old boy with a Taser after an angry confrontation in a hospital, Mesa police said.Police said the boy was clenching his fists and yelling at a staff member at Mesa Regional Hospital when they arrived.Police determined the boy had assaulted someone who left before they arrived.After an officer attempted to take the boy into custody for creating a disturbance, the boy approached the officer with clenched fists, police said.