I mention all this in fairness because I'm about to lay some unpopular observations down for all those Republican voting fundamentalists Christians like my dad (well, most of my family to be specific) whose seething hatred of President Obama has them ready to betray their Christ by voting for cultist Mitt Romney.
And Mormonism is a cult my friends, even though it has been watered down over the decades to seem like just another branch of Christianity. At least, that's what they used to tell me back there in Sunday school. And they argued it pretty persuasively, to my young teenage mind. After all, fundamentalists will tell you knowingly, Revelations 22 clearly states:
"18For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:Sure, it's a stretch to apply this to the whole Bible (the author clearly meant his own book, the Revelation), but that never stopped a good fundamentalist before, kinda like when they say all the promises Yahweh made to Israel in the Old Testament applies to Christians because of Jesus. Anyway, the point is that the Bible is the complete, whole Word of the LORD, so the minute Joe Smith finished penning his ode to Jesus and the American Indians and called it another testament of Jesus Christ, he entered the world of Satan Himself because he was pushing unbiblical nonsense like we were all pre-existing souls until God came along and convinced us of a plan to go to Earth to get bodies. Or saving the dead through stand in baptisms. Or that whole polygamy and celestial marriage thing. Yeesh! I may have mentioned religion makes people crazy?
19And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book."
Anyway so let's look at it this way: fundamentalist Christianity is like a box of Trix and Mormonism is like a box of Froot Loops. The may taste the same but they look nothing like the other. And therein lies the rub: how can fundamentalist, die hard Christians vote to put their version of the Antichrist into office? Let's face it, Romney hardly meets the definition of a good Christian. He uses his substantial power to wreck people's lives by happily firing them or destroying their jobs through his predatory Bain Capital days; he doesn't care about poor people; he hasn't sold all his belongings, given them to the poor, taken up his cross and followed Jesus; he bears false witness against Barack Obama. And so on and so forth. I mean, if the Catholic church merits the Whore of Babylon title (and Catholicism was the very parent of protestant religions like fundamentalist Christianity), then what must a Mormon be?
Still, what real choice do people like my dad have? I mean they HATE Barack Obama with a vehemence I don't think I've ever seen from the right before, which is saying something. I mean, I lived through the Clinton presidency but William J. Clinton got off easy compared to the verbal lynchings our current president gets. And before anyone gets their panties in a bunch about my choice of words allow me to add that the Kenyan, Socialist, Communist, Islamist, Atheist, Hitler, anti-colonial (whatever the hell that means), alien from another planet president that we have now has received death threats, impeachment threats, had right wing white dudes packing guns to his public speaking events, had his beloved family lambasted, been drawn as a monkey (no racism there!) and been depicted dragged behind a pickup truck which invokes when some good ol' boys down in the not-so-great state of Texas dragged a defenseless black man to his death when the strung him to the rear bumper of their pick up truck. Mind you, Barack Obama is a practicing Christian.
Is a Mormon really so bad by comparison then? Is this South Parkian dilemma of choosing between a giant douche and a turd sandwich as easy as it seems when fundamentalist Christians are the only "real" Christians? I mean, voting for a Mormon would be akin to voting for a Scientologist and the Bush Base, as the fundamentalist Christians used to be called, would have none of that nonsense. So why are they putting up with it now? Is all of Romney's SuperPAC money convincing the faithful that it better to go with the devil you know? Because Mormonism is a cult. At least, that's what they used to say until Barack Obama came along.