04 September 2009

this years Lions

so i watched the Detroit Lions-Buffalo Bills preseason game last night and I have to tell you folks that I like what I see. The Lions defence was all over the ball and were actually hitting opponents. To normal football fans this may seem like a small matter but normal football fans aren't Lions fans. See, we love this team. In many ways it is the heart of Detroit and the soul of the great state of Michigan. We root for them come hell and high water and, more often than not, they let us down and break our hearts. But we Lions fans are retarded and every year we go right back out to root for them and thus the cycle continues. But don't you just want to believe? Wouldn't it be sweet if these gridiron kids rise to the task under their new, improved head coach and end up landing bass ackwards into the playoffs? That's us Lions fans for ya. Always hoping, always dreaming, hoping for glory days we can spend our whole lives cherishing while fondly recalling those events to our children and grandchildren. "I was there when it happened," grandpa or gramma will say. "It was really something!" Somehow it all reminded me of today's President Barack Obama. He is just like this years Detroit Lions in the sense that he is the new, improved version of the lousy Lions we fans had to sit through for almost the last 8 years. Oh sure Lions GM Matt Millen took credit for his blundering teams every year but, oh sweet Jesus if, I had to see one more thrice damned M&M name combination I was going to blind myself to end the agony! Matt Millen with his Morningwhigs, Mariuchis and Marrenellis. Arghh! All we Lions fans wanted was to have 5 minutes alone with that rat Millen just so we could vent and shout out our frustration. "What the hell is a matter with you Millen!? What are you doing to my Lions you twisted fucker?!" And so on and so forth. But we never got the satisfaction and team owner Bill Ford wouldn't fire Millen until last years o-16 debacle when the old Lions earned the dubious honor of being the worst football team ever in the annals of professional football. See? It's like the Lions of the last 8 years are like the Republicans who ran this nation into the ground and caused many of the problems Today's President Barack Obama has to wrestle with like a screwed up economy, the rich not paying their fair share in taxes and 2 war fronts that are just falling to shit. To Republicans it was like here comes some uppity Negro prclaiming he can change everything and save the day. They began running him down 2 years ago when he decided to run for office. Barack Obama? Sounds Arabic to me! Must be a terrorist! Has anyone seen his birth certificate? Oh and did I mention he's a Negro? Ugh! Today's Radical Right Republicans make me sick. But Today's President perservered against them and overcame them to become Commander in Chief of our armies fighting in hot wars in the Middle east as well as Leader of the Free World. 75% of Americans voted for him with a mandate for a real change in this nation's direction just Just like when we Lions fans made so much noise Millen was finally dismissed. Now wouldn't it be something if this years Lions did something special? We Lions fans want to believe just like America wants to believe that Barack Obama will do something special. Oh sure the pro football pundits will predict the Lions will go 0-16 again or might only win 4 if they're lucky just like the right wing media that dominates this country predicts Today's President Barack Obama will fail over and again and openly pray for his failure, encouraging their followers to do the same and thus twisting the Patriotism of many Americans into some sort of sick and evil counterpart to Patriotism so that the black venom of their hatred towards President Obama can be unleashed through their prayers and in their churches and now that venom is spreading into the body of the United States of America, making her diseased and decrepit. I see Matt Millen on the TV every once in awhile. He says it wasn't all his fault the Lions sucked so bad but he's sorry they did and offers color analysis on games like he knows something about football. Maybe he does but he sure couldn't run a football team so I wish he would just shut the hell up just like I'd wish Cheney or McCain would just shut the hell up. You assholes couldn't run the country right in the 8 years you had to do it, 75% of America voted against you. You lose. Now be gracious losers and go home and shut the hell up. Instead it more of the same of just what they started 2 years ago only worse: President Barack Obama is a racist, a Socialist, a Nazi with no birth certificate. He's a terrorist trained when he was 12 in Africa along with his Muslim father and groomed by the Islamists to one day take the Presidency. He's making our country weaker blah blah blah ad infinitum nauseum. Seriously dudes, the man's only been President for a few months. We don't know what great things this new Lion might do. And remember: it took most of us Americans 3 years before we decided it was time to turn on Then Illegitimate President Bush and even then you guys stole the freakin' election. But you couldn't this time could you? Too many of people like me turned out in droves to cast you hate filled fuckers out on your ass. Ah but these right wingers have polls! They ask like 00 people if they think health care reform is a good idea. 57 don't like it 41 do and 2 don't know and could go either way so the right proclaims that 57% of Americans don't want health care. What? There are roughly 360 million Americans so how can anyone proclaim that just because they asked 100 or 1000 people that it represents the whole of American society? Don't be absurd! But I was there, we all were. We remember the last 8 miserable years under the Bush administration's inept and illegitimate 'leadership'. We remember the good years unde Former President Bill Clinton when it seemed everyone had money and there was actually a budget surplus for just such an emergency as a recession. It's like remembering Barry Sanders. Barry was an untested commodity in pro football so the first time he touched the ball he broke out a 70 odd yard run. The man could move and it made you proud to be a Lions fan and we cheered him on with a giddiness and glee you just wouldn't get unless you lived here in Michigan. I was there when they dismantled the Dallas Cowboys before going to Washington and losing the NFC title game. Best game ever and the crowd was insane. We were great, our team was great and maybe just maybe we could go to the next level and win the coveted Lombardi Trophy. Werll it didn't work out then and I doubt this years Lions will make it that far but who knows what a new year will bring? We longsuffering fans and Americans need to be patient and offer our encouragement and support rather than our doubts, derision and scorn. After all we're all on the same team: Team America. The Radical Republican Right doesn't like our team but they sure want to rule over us. That's not America but that's what the Right wants. They don't care about what anyone else wants and will not compromise. It's their way or the highway. And they are trying to sabotage our new season before it's even got started. Why? Why are you jerks such assholes? Bunch of sore loser crybabies. Ugh! I can't go on anymore; I get so frustrated and my head starts to hurt bad. Damn Republicans.

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