diatribe

that there are poor people in the united states is a cause for shame and embarassment to the united states. rather than help the poor in any real, meaningful way, americans always take the short cut. yet, even while knowingly taking these short cuts, americans don't understand why their shoddy efforts aren't good enough. thus they declare that all poor people are lazy or just 'looking for a hand out' and put the blame of poverty squarely upon the poor, who are victims of the capitalist system for it is through capitalism that poverty is created. and so mainstream americans created the homeless and needy within their society all while beating the drum of consumerism, which is bizarre, as consumerism and capitalism is an unfair, unequal system. even the middle class suffers even though they are largely ignorant of the abuse heaped upon them by their masters, the rich of this nation. now, in america, a man is said to be free but this is not true for all men, women and children in this country are under one thumb and that thumb is rich who make the rules, repress the people and take from them their civil rights and liberties. in fact, the rich have even made it so a brick building has a larger voice in the way the government is run than a flesh and blood citizen simply by calling the building a 'corporation' and, according to the united states supreme court, this building gets free spech and a say in politics. the rich have it made. they get away with murder, theft and treason simply because they are rich while poor people slave away in their prisons and factories. but it is the golden rule here in the states: he who has the gold, rules.

stop trying to kill me

it's too hot outside and it's humid too which only makes it worse. we humans don't like to do much if it is so warm; well, at least i don't. the heat is supposed to continue for sometime which is unfortunate. seems like it gets hotter and hotter every year now as our sun slowly cooks us alive unto death at a low simmer. our own fault really. humankind has mishandled its responsibilities to the planet yet wants none of the blame even as every year more and more of our world is destroyed because of our arrogance. even if we dumb apes stopped polluting and poisoning our world today, it is probably too late. the effects of this global warming we have created is advancing far more rapidly than our scientists had anticipated. many now say it is too late to stop what's coming. this is the hallmark of our american empire, our legacy, the jewel in our crown. we have indeed changed the world though not by saving it; rather by destroying it. and for what? it is all hubris and vanity. one more day and we'll change! we dumb apes bargain. just give us time, a little more time. time is all we need. but there isn't any more time and it's getting hotter and hotter. my head aches from the heat, my skin is burning and i am parched with thirst. i have come to believe that it is in the collective subconscious of us dumb apes to destroy ourselves by any means necessary thus we are all subconsciously suicidal. like smokers, it's not obvious suicidal behavior because it takes so goddamn long to kill you. but it's suicide. unfortunately you fuckers are taking me down with you and that really sucks.

america is already a socialist nation because of the evil of the republican party

so today i went to renew my driver's license only to find that i couldn't 2 hours after i got there. seems that the state of michigan has put a hold on my renewal because --haha!-- i owe back child support (which happens when you get disabled and can't work and you are waiting on the federal government to give you your social security). took something like 3 years, ugh! but it finally happened and my government came through for me so in the next month or so, when i get all the back pay owed to me from uncle sugar, all my old child support will be paid off. but this is not good enough for the state of michigan, oh no. in addition they want me, a disabled person of limited means, to cough up an extra $85 just to remove the restriction that they imposed upon my license in the first place, never mind they knew i was disabled.

"so, alright then, i still some kind of id," i explained to the lady behind the counter, "can i get a state id?"

"you can but you'll need your social security card, birth certificate and other id."

"but i'm right here, right. i am mike villwock aren't i?"

she shrugged her shoulders and gave me a phone number to call someone who cared. it was in that moment that a light shown down from over my head and i realized i was in a reverse socialist country where the rich benefit from reverse social collectivism to ensure their position of absolute rule and power over these united states to the detriment of the poor.

rich people don't want to pay their fair share here in america. they want to hoard their cash and buy excessively lavish worldly goods to show off to other rich folk. never mind if the roads go to shit, or bridges collapse or that there are millions of homeless here, the rich do not care. oh sure, the states try to force these pretentious bastards to pay their fair share, but the rich only whine, dig their heels in and vote republican because republicans will always protect the rich. so state governments become run by crafty republicans stealing from the state coffers, protecting those who don't need any help and applying harsher penalties and stiff fees upon the poor to make up the monetary difference the rich don't want to pay. that is why every law micro manages the lives of individuals throughout the united states so everything can be fined, taxed or excised from the poor for the rich rarely if ever suffer from any laws because their money and power lets them off the hook.

blatherings on the way

as i blather away into the vacuum of time as it speeds it's way across through infinity i find myself oddly bothered by us dumb apes. we are very stupid things and yet within every one of us is a spark of pure, divine potential. we have seen this is true throughout our shared human history. in every culture without fail, that spark was acknowledged and, through a desire to cultivate that power which is so unique; special; and powerful locked within all of our bodies, thus religions were born. in every case, after not very many generations, the religion becomes the law. so? laws are prohibitions. when a religion prohibits anything they claim it is the under the authority and the divine will of the first One but that can't possibly be true. why? the first One has no prohibitions and knows no limitations. we dumb apes force limitations upon ourselves because we have lost our unity with the first One. and this unity is so easy to attain if you would simply give into it. not in surrender but in trust. after all, what is to surrender? you are always eternally One with the Way. the Way is scary, yet by learning to trust in the natural order of things and the perfect rightness of all that is, we begin to recognize our own divine nature. and we are divine for we are One with the first whose very essence sustains our physical bodies. and?

back to the library

so it was a weird, long day. the dude i was going to rent a room from turned out to be a flake. i guess he has a thing for very thorough investigations into perspective tenants and because i live nebulously, he found getting answers about me is a pretty tricky thing (unless you're the government who are reading this now. hi, usurpers of personal freedom! : ). because investigating me was going to take weeks instead of days he decided to return money i had given him to hold the room. fucker. it seems to have worked out for the best though. i went to see a place that was perfect for me not a half an hour later. a nice basement efficiency that really is more of a small 1 bedroom. i was in line with 5 other dudes but the very nice landlady (who has an equally nice husband) called me a few hours ago and it sounds like she really wants me in there. can i get a 'woohoo!'? yeah i'm hopeful and excited about my basement pad. and it's not even a half a block to beer, karaoke and wild women! yay! so all this basement dwelling stuff reminded me of the girl i knew named jessica layton who lived (lives?) in toronto because she once told me her story of renting a basement in a hard time in her life, saying she never left it until she was fully, psychically heal. i don't really think about jess so much these days so i was surprised to remember this and feel the meloncholia of our brief, tempestuous time together. but this is my basement and my basement period and i couldn't be happier. healing can be a real bitch but i'm ready now to find out just what i am capable of. i'm going to change the world and i can't wait to see the results! in the meantime though i'm still homeless and will be so until (all likelihood) july 1st. that means it's back here to the library where i pass the time blathering into the abyss. blather, blather. i don't even remember enough about jess to be able to miss her. i just know we'll have a basement in common.

the villwock gut

much to my chagrin and later dismay, i have discovered that my villwock gut has come in. now this doesn't mean that i am getting fat, oh no; that would be too easy. i'm getting the villwock gut. how to describe it? it's like my middle has transformed into a barrel like my fathers, like his father and like all the male villwock's since the inception of our glory days in germany. it should be like a badge of family honor but i hate how thick i fell around my middle. what if i can't get rid of it? what if diet and exercise did nothing? ugh! i'd be stuck with it. you know, like how the red wings are stuck with henrick zetterberg. the difference between my gut and henrick zetterberg? i'm not soft down the middle. ugh! i guess he tried to do his best. and yes, i bitched about his play last year too. i mean if he were ryan getzlaf or zack parise, i'd be so happy. and besides, this is about my middle. lugging this barrel around doesn't seem to have changed anything. girls still check me out, many blush and smile appreciatively as i greet them in passing on the streets. so it seems i'm the only one really aware of my gut. isn't that weird? i wonder if president obama feels this way. sure he's thin but to be carrying around the weight of what he inherited from bush junior, he must feel bloated around the middle too. that shit is heavy! i just couldn't believe it when his speech to the muslims in cairo (and all the middle east) was debated here on american cable news. what a joke. it was like a carnival sideshow. do the bobble head news hosts now wield such power in this land? was the speech soft or dumb or terms of surrender. at least the president tried unlike ol' dubya. what did you fuckers do to change the world today? of course, had this been a bush effort, you news hosts would be sure to say how awe inspiring it was while calling people who didn't like the speech enemy sympathizers. some liberal media; looks, feels & smells like conservative media to me. like the other day when george dubya bush junior parachuted from a plane and cnn and fox went ga ga over it. is that really news? innocent american men and women are losing their lives every day fighting that man's wars. what i want to know is why he isn't in prison. that's the real news story. and the cnn reporter upset me by just gushing about meeting the george dubya. she was in awe of him and behaved like a girl with a crush. really? that's news? that's liberal? yeah and i'm sean hanitty.

bummed out thanks to the penguins

so another great year of hockey ends and for some the result was perfect while for others the result was bitter disappointment and genuine heartache as the former champion red wings lost their crown to the younger, more aggressive pittsburgh penguins. i suppose the loss wouldn't have seemed so bitter if the red wings had actually tried to win the game or played a 3 periods instead of 1 but they didn't and they lost. pittsburgh was a team on a mission and they can now proudly proclaim: mission accomplished! oh sure detroit should have won even as badly as they played throughout this entire series. let's face it, the penguins had their hands full with detroit even with detroit performing as sub par as they did. had detroit been on top of their game, last night would have surely ended in a different result. but that's what happens when a team like the wings get over confident. they played like they were gonna win just because they were at home in the joe. they played like the cup didn't really matter. no one went flying after loose pucks, many of the players just stood watching from the perimeter instead of going hard to the net. oh and zetterberg you soft fucker! when will the wings trade you for somebody better?!? someone who knocks opponents around, finishes their checks and hits and who plays like a superstar during game 7 of the stanley cup finals! it seemed that if the red wings roster was filled with more youngsters like helm and ericksson then the game last night would have been far more entertaining to watch. the youngsters were fighting to win the cup while the stars of the red wings just laid back and took the night off (except for osgood, cleary and datsyuk; they played their hearts out). of course once it was too late they went to the net and played red wing hockey and who knows? if there had been a 4th period maybe the wings would have trounced crosby and crew. oh well. congratulations to the stanley cup champion pittsburgh penguins and just you fuckers wait until next year!

unlimited time

i have come to realize that i have unlimited time. so i should never have to hurry yet still i find i do. i've only recently begun to comprehend the depth of my psychological damage from when i first had my psychic blowout back when i was a child of 4 or 5. i wish i could remember what caused it but i don't. i can't even envision what it could have been that scarred me so deeply and traumatically. whatever it was i should be able to remember it right? but i don't so what does that mean? anyway i write all this because what i have just described too you causes me great fear. i don't know why about that either. it's like your heart races all the time and your panicked all the time yet just outside my psychic reach, deep within my chi, a sense of wonder. small. fragile. vulnerable and yet so full of potential energy. i want to feel that energy coursing through me, filling me and then i want to give that energy away to everyone i meet just so i can spread the awe of it. i stifle it. i'm not safe out here among you savages. one false move and it's curtains for mikey! but why is it that way? why do we have to live in fear all the time? oh sure some of you don't. you are never afraid. you are tough and you are better than this. if you can pull up your own boot straps, by god so can everybody else. oh yeah? says who? not everyone can be you. some of us are wired different for whatever reason. and who cares what the reason? how is it i find homeless among you or people going hungry or men and women with psychological ailments forced into the streets because this nation has no pity? when a person is in need you don't ask questions, you help them to the best of your ability and willingly so. jesus tried to teach that to the people once. "give unstintingly without any thought of reward" it just seems strange to me no one wants to fix the problem and make it go away as would befit the "greatest nation in the world". history is full of countries who thought theirs was the greatest in the world too. russia, germany, britain, france. but their definition of 'great' differs from ours.